


August 27, 2012

by pbndgeli



Series: HS au [3]
Category: geliocs, neraphine
Genre: Angst, Depression, Nick needs a Hug, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 22:21:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6584899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbndgeli/pseuds/pbndgeli





	August 27, 2012

_ Worthless. _

_ That’s why they all left you, Nicholas. _

_ Idiotic. _

_ You should’ve went with your parents, but no. You decided to be with a girl that was going to break up with you anyway. _

_ Pitiful. _

_ You just sit around and mope all day. You don’t even bother to get any help. _

_ Unreliable. _

_ You told her you were going to go back home. You fed her lies. _

_ Heartbreaker. _

_ Why didn’t you go home, Nicholas? Why did you even leave her in the first place? _

_ No one cares about you anymore. Not even her. Why bother living anymore, am I right? Go pick up that blade. _

So I did.

I walked to the kitchen, my heart racing. Thoughts were rushing through my head, making my head pound. I started to tremble and I feared my knees would buckle, yet I kept walking.

I should've thought about this, but who cares. She didn't care. She wouldn't care. She won't bother to even contact me after what happened so what's the point. No one cares. I thought about turning back, going back to the bedroom and calling someone. Trying to get help, but . . .

_ No. Just grab the knife, Nick. No one will bother helping you, remember? _

I was crying hard, making my chest ache. I reached for the large blade with my shaking hand and pressed the sharpened edge against my wrist.

_ Go on. No one will save you. _

I moved the knife lower, centering it on my arm.

_ What's taking you so long? Hah, that's what Bo said. Literally what she asked you. You never came back to her and by doing this you never will. _

I pressed the blade harder, making it cut through and the bright contrast of blood against my pale skin was unusually shocking, but this wasn't the first time I cut myself.

I kept going, making the blade slice deeper and the blood rush out. My head was pounding and it hurt. It hurt so much. Everything hurt.

_ Nicholas, what's taking you so long? _

I didn’t know, but I knew something in my head was stopping me.

_ Stop. _

Why? There wasn't a reason why I should stop, so I kept going, kept hurting myself.

_ Nick, stop. _

That wasn't my voice. I paused for a moment.

_ Nick, what are you doing? Keep going. Go kill yourself.  _

Why? That, I could answer. Because- 

_ Nicholas Levi, stop right now. _

That wasn't my voice. It was . . . Bo's.

_ Put down that blade. _

I kept the blade digging into me anyway.

_ Nick, I said stop. Remember the promise you made? Yeah, you need to keep that. I don't care what I said. Keep that promise, dumbass. Be a man of your word. _

I was crying at that point. Everything was aching and the blood had started to pool on the ground. I collapsed, wondering how it all escalated to this.

_ Nick, put the knife down. Now. _

So I did.

I dropped it, sliding it across the kitchen floor, getting it away from me. I was curled up on the ground, next to my blood. Blood was still spewing out the deep cut and I knew it was going to leave a scar. But I wanted to live. I needed to live. At least for the promise.

I looked like an absolute mess. I tightly clutched on my bleeding arm and carefully got back up on my feet. I trudged to grab a towel or something to soak up all the blood.

I cried out for help, my voice cracking. I burst out my apartment door, probably looking like a maniac. I had to get help and fast. I needed to live. For the promise. For you.

A few seconds later, I blacked out.


End file.
